Adventures of the midget in giant land

Things that should go on America's funniest home video: A picture of a 5'1 dwarf wrestling with two suitcases, one that is almost her height, while trying to get onto the Amtrak train to Philadelphia. Suitcases were exceptionally naughty that day. They refused to sit in the overhead compartment, refused to fit into the luggage closet and insisted on being a fire hazard.

But yeah, I survived. Cut to picture of midget dragging two plastic bags, once again almost her height, across K-mart and back home.

Home is a dodgy rotting brick building that look like one of those shell-shocked Eastern European mansions that have been blasted and plundered. Room looks pretty neat though. Kudos for the quasi walk in cupboard. Of course as God's little joke, it couldn't have been given to me at a better time, now that most of my possessions are either in Melbourne or Singapore.

Home home home. I realised now that though I orgasmed in Jimmy Choos (alse seen in Sex and the City), fainted in front of Tiffany's $1.8 million dollar engagement ring (also seen in Breakfast at Tiffany's), ate at Joe's Pizza (also seen in Spiderman), posed in front of the Arch (also seen in When Harry met Sally), kissed the steps of Carrie's apartment (also seen in SATC), ate an 8-cm diameter crabcake from mexican-japanese fusion restaurant Zamba Sushi (also seen in SATC, I went for the SATC tour dammit), licked the rice pudding- encrusted spoon at Rice to Riches (also seen in Hitch), watched a broadway show (also seen in Broadway), briskwalked Central Park (also seen in all american movies involving a park and new york) and gaped at the White House (also seen in the background when Bush makes a speech), HOME is not where my Hollywood fantasies are. Even though their Elizabeth Arden shop actually had the signature red doors.

New York and Washington were *with an American accent* FABULOUS. It was like someone put a magnifying glass over Melbourne or Singapore and sprinkled alot of good shopping and food into it. It was like the world has conglomerated into one place, where every race and every brand and every crusine could be found.

Cultural schizophernia? Hell yeah! I arrived in New York, lived with an Indian family, went to an Indian festival, ate Thai food, moved in with a Jewish family, had Mexican-Japanese food and now is living with a Polish-Mexican-American roomate and meeting people with the most exotic mixes (taiwanese living in Brazil, Chinese living in France, Hong Konger living in Agentina and Peru ). The Chinese are seriously everywhere. This place is a melting pot. Cliched but true.

But I miss home like crazy. But which is home? I miss holland village and orchard road as much as lygon street and brunswick. I miss my house in Singapore as much as I miss international house. I miss my friends both in Singapore and in Melbourne. I miss my family. It sucks to miss one place, and now I miss two.

When I introduce myself to people, it doesn't just stop at "Hi, I'm Singaporean." It's " Hi, I'm Singaporean but on an exchange from Australia."

Whoever said home is where the heart is, is obviously an idiot. The heart doesn't see geographical boundaries.

And as for now, its back to the philly cheesesteaks, cheap levi's and upsized Macdonalds that look genetically mutated. If 6ft big tall Chris from Australia says, " Damm things here are big", yeah, take my word for it, things here are not just big because I'm a tiny person.