Three encounters to be remembered

As I read through the list of his credentials, suddenly it all clicked to me. Chairman of National Theatre Trust. Member of the Board of Trustees of Singapore Cultural Foundation. Patron of Stage Club of Singapore. I never knew all that before. I remembered talking to him at the interview. About fuelling the energy for a renaissance city. About how this dynamic energy can be tapped from an ongoing theatre education. About blank canvasses, a blank stage. About creation at a micro level, and how Singapore children need to learn how to create, a play, a story, and an imagination. And about how theatre is able to bring all that creation together. He leaned forward with amused interest. I remember him asking a lot of questions about the play I was about to put up. About what I believed theatre can do. I thought, why would anyone be interested in supporting some crazy girl with no credentials, and her half-baked ideas? And weeks later I received a phone call from him telling me I got the funding for my education. It was one of the most amazing things that ever happened in my life because I knew I did not deserve it.

Many emails about Melbourne (where he did his CPA) and two scholarship dinners later, I recalled him telling a past scholar about seeing them often in the National University Hospital. As usual, I blurted out before I could think, "Why do you go to that ward so often?" He said in a very joking matter of fact way, "I have cancer." He looked so young, he looked so energetic, and he had a full head of black hair. I didn't know if he was kidding and just continued to drink my tea bashfully.

One granted exchange and one extension of funding to my honours year later; I sent him an email thanking him for the extension. Just two days ago. Told him about all the stuff I am experiencing in the States.

Four hours ago my dad just called me to tell me Mr Thai passed away yesterday. The director of my scholarship and the person I really looked up to. I couldn't believe it. My mum called his secretary to confirm his passing on. My mind went into autopilot mode. Call Joan, the other LCK scholar. Arrange with mum for wreath to be sent to the funeral wake. Send letter of condolence to the family. Send letter of condolence to the scholarship board of directors.

And when that was all over, I paused and looked at his obituary. Held board positions in 34 companies. Held board positions in 10 community associations. Public Service Star for 2002 National Day Award. A man with such stunning achievements, took time to hear me rattle my mouth off about creating a renaissance Singapore through theatre. Invested in my dreams and my education. Brought himself down to my level to email me and read my silly little emails about random stuff. Brought himself down to my level to listen to my childish views about Singapore and the world at scholarship dinners. Suddenly it just struck me that I have been emailing the guy, the director of almost every major company in Singapore, about my semester, and my little community services, and my petty life matters, while he was battling cancer.

And tears just kept whelming up in my eyes. Why didn't I ask him how he was? Why didn't I enquire more about his condition? Why were all the emails just about me?

He was not my family member, or my closest friend, but he was someone I stood in awe of in a distance. An inspiration. A role model of success and humility.

My unread email lies in his inbox. A very surreal thought. Emails from him and to him lie in my inbox. Our wreath stands next to the hundreds of wreaths. My letter of condolence, next to the thousands pouring in. But just as he has made such a significant mark in the course of my education, in the course of my future and in my life, I hope that in my insignificant way, I have reached out to provide some words of comfort to those who knew and loved him.