My ideal office has a 2 day work day, a dress code of PJs and furry slippers, a candy floss machine on every floor and slow moving clowns to entertain

Today is one of those exasperating long days at work. It’s 4:19 now. It’s like every one hour you look at your clock and it says 4:20. Three hours later you look back and it says 4:21.

We entertained ourselves by marching like mickey mouse every time my colleague’s irritatingly chirpy ringtone sounds. Ok it isn’t we. It’s just me. I marched like Mickey Mouse and then bumped into my HR director who told me I had nice glasses. She believed I wore them to the office today because they were new, and not because I had tired eyes, although I did try to convince her that was the case and hinted I needed another sickie.

We spend the rest of our time talking about someone’s mega ring-pop diamond ring. It is so big it could replace the office hole puncher. The owner can also double up as a traffic police when the traffic lights spoil. Or a lighthouse. Or a ear piecer. If she punches you, your eyes could get knocked out by the diamond. She would be good to have around when you are lost in the desert. Can help send SOS signals. Oh whao, after typing so much, it’s only 4:28. Sheesh. I shall go steal more cookies from the pantry.