Tuesday, May 09, 2006

While gravity takes its toll, let me write this post before my chin hits the ground: happy birthday dear me

This time last year I was having jets of cold water explode under me while I attempted to run through the Crown fountain in the onset of winter. I sat before my chocolate bacci cake at the Crown buffet with friends I haven't seen for over a year, wishing before I blew out my candles, that my 21st year would be the most exciting year ever.

I haven't been disappointed. Three continents, 21 cities across North America and an expert at packing later, I am back in singapore, still believing that someone knocked me out on my birthday last year, and my life just travelled through a subconsious mindwarp. I made mistakes I regretted and know that no matter how sorry I am, it can never be reversed. I made more friends and connected with more people in this past one year, than in my life combined. I garnered new perspectives about myself, my surroundings and my world. I discovered my strengths, accepted my weaknesses and stopped obsessing about the way people thought about me. I stood in awe of desert plains, rock formations, cityscapes, museums and cathedrals. I saw some of the most beautiful paintings in the world, the most celebrated photographs and met some of the most inspiring people. I discovered myself in moments of crisis, and in moments of soulitude and silence. I lived and partaked in, an Indian-American family, Jewish-American family, a White-American family, a Chinese-American family, a Taiwanese-Canadian family, a African-American family and a Native-American school. I visited the houses of those that lived in the villas of Newport Conneticuit, and those single parent Aids victims that live off soup kitchens and food stamps. I met costa-rican koreans, taiwanese-dutch, french-chinese and iraqi americans. I heard both sides of the palestine-israel conflict, the abortion debate, the church and the politics. I attended talks by some of the richest most successful business people in America, and watched videos about corporate accountability and social injustice.

And after all that, I stopped being able to take sides or have my own perspective anymore. Because the word "rights" cannot be condensed down to a right or a wrong, or to an effect without a multi-factored cause. Through all these, I pushed through my perspection bubble, to see through the "what" into the "why" and "how"s. I admitted to my own myopic racist and class-ist bubble, and tried to look beyond people's outer trappings, and saw them as not only individuals, but also functioning under many influential bubbles that culturally determine their actions.

It has been a tremendous experiential journey that was everything I prayed for, and beyond what I thought I would be getting myself into. This may sound cliched, but I feel like I really found myself this year, and was able to truly express myself. My year in America was the best present I could ever have. And to top that off, is my special someone who is behind me through this journey, fending my doubts, believing in my dreams, listening to my crazy fickled rants and still loving me for who I really am. That's my best present ever, you unproposed unfiancee!

So I lived, I learnt, I experienced, and I explored, and now I am 8 minutes into being a 22 year old, and having some really bad food poisoning from the chili crab and prawns I ate for dinner. That's my present to myself.

5 comments:

dyseluxon said...

My gosh cherrie, You are, without a doubt, one of the most amazing and inspiring people I know. It never ceases to amaze me how you fearlessly/unknowingly/bimbotically(?) put yourself in such life-enriching situations! Happy Belated 22nd Darl!!! Here's wishing all your birthdays to come will be just as blessed as this!!!! =]

Cleverkiwibird said...

youve had such an amazing journey as i followed along for the last year.so much fun and knowledge ;) Happyu Birthday !

Anonymous said...

happy birthday dearie!

With so many more paths to explore, doors to opens, stones unturned and roads unravelled, may you always find happiness and good health at every turn in your journey. See you soon ;)

love
sha

Chorizo said...

Thank you so much daphne, keewin and sha!! I am missing you guys! Sha your birthday wish reads like a fortune cookie....hee!! Can't wait to talk to you guys soon!

Anonymous said...

hey Charissa!

happy belated 22nd bday! hope u had great fun! seems like u really achieved a lot in your one year in America! been there done that! look fwd to seeing u soon!

greetings from melbourne

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