Sunday, December 24, 2006

Too Old for this Shit - The Fashion Faux Pas of a Xmas Romp

Last night it officially hit me that I'm too old to spend any festivity in a club. The line is too long, the people are too young, the guys look like they are still in the army, the music is too loud, everyone is too sweaty, the cheap alcohol taste really bad and cover charge is too steep. I spent most of my one and a half hour at MOS, this popular club in Singapore, watching the DJ spin with some cool computer software technology. My friends mistook that as my apparent boredom and tried to get me to dance. So I spent the rest of the night staring at the revolving lights.

Some things I observed while sulking. I know it is rainy in Singapore and winter in the northern hemisphere, but what's up with the winter clothes in a club man. I saw so many girls wearing knee high boots with equally high thick winter socks. Think about how bad your feet will stink after that. I saw guys in knitted long sleeved turtleneck sweaters. There were people in scarves. I saw a girl dressed, top to bottom, in white fur. Maybe it is fashionable and all, but between comfort and sweating and smelling like a dead raccoon, I'll choose the former. It was freaking 30 degrees in the club! Do you see people wearing fur in Bali? Or in Malaysia? Or in summer anywhere else in the world?

Other notable things that should never be worn in a club. A fanny pack or a sling bag. It looked like he was going to whip out fake CDs from his pack and try to sell them to me. A polo shirt tucked into beige pants and sports shoes. This is a club, not a golfing range. Also, track pants and runners. Dancing is tiring, but it is not a sport! And finally, huge metallic bling bling hung around the neck. You are not black. Wearing the bling, and your cap backwards along with some really bad hand movements that resembles rapping is not going to make you black if you are yellow skinned with small eyes. Even William Hung is cooler than that.

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